Stat of the Day

"More than 10 times as many [people] die falling out of bed as from lightning strikes."



Stat taken from pages 66-67 of the December 4, 2006 issue of TIME Magazine.




(Yes, it is a real stat)

Wow...

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —President George W. Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —President George W. Bush, to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005


Don't believe it? Go to the site and they have audio and/or video clips of all of these. Enjoy!

http://politicalhumor.about.com/cs/georgewbush/a/top10bushisms.htm

Co-Quotes of the Day

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." -Jerry Seinfeld


"The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!" -Jerry Seinfeld

David Letterman Quotes

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?" -David Letterman

"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel." -David Letterman

"For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home." -David Letterman

"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard." -David Letterman

"Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger." -David Letterman

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population." -David Letterman

"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television." -David Letterman

Quotes

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." -Groucho Marx

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." -Yogi Berra

"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak." -Jack Handey

"Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books." -Jack Handey

"Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year." -Victor Borge

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." -Spike Milligan

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money." -Henny Youngman

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." -Charles Shackleford

"I just installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!" -Steven Wright

Woody Allen Quotes

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick
-- not wounded -- dead." -Woody Allen

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
-Woody Allen


"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action.
They rented out my room." -Woody Allen


"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"
-Woody Allen

"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for
emotionally disturbed teachers." -Woody Allen

"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too
small." -Woody Allen

Quotes

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." -Bill Lyon

"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." -John Kenneth Galbraith

"Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too." -Lichty and Wagner

"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life." -George Burns

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" -Edgar Bergen

Groucho Marx Quotes

"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough."

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age. "

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."

"My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something."

"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted."

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."

"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."



Wow, what a riot that Groucho Marx was. If you have never seen a movie with him and his brothers in it, I highly suggest picking up a movie or two from your local library and laughing all the way through it.

Today

It is a bright and sunny day here in my secret location. So, if you can find a bright and sunny place in the world (of which there are a plethora) then you may know where I am at. There is going to be football on today. It is week 9 of the NFL and the Colts remain undefeated. I thought New England had a chance at beating them.

I am glad elections are over because now i can see real commercials and not the political commercials. I was glad to read on the Onion that politicians swept the midterm elections. I was afraid they might have lost.

That commercial that was just on was funny. I will talk about some real stuff in the next...

...Paragraph: Thanksgiving is coming up soon. It is nice to get a four day weekend and be away from school. At least all school aged kids have something to be thankful for if nothing else.

If you have any topic you would like me to discusss on iBLOG, just leave me a message and I will get right to it. For now I am off to do something else. Have a good day, week, and life.

Quote of the Day

"I can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time."

Quote of the Day

"The existence of the flamethrower is proof that, at one point, someone said, ‘I really want to light those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough.'" -George Carlin

HLS 2006

The Holiday Lights Spectacular is quickly approaching this year! Check back for more details or drop an e-mail to me.

Up and Running

Hello world. My blog is now up and running for the entire populus of the great Earth to read... well, that assumes they are at a computer or some printed this out for them to read. We are also assuming they can read. And now they must be able to see to read this because it is not in brail yet. And now it gets complicated.... So, it is ready for anyone who can read a computer screen and has access to one to read it.


Well, I will blog as I feel like it. So, check back periodically!