"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick
-- not wounded -- dead." -Woody Allen
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
-Woody Allen
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
-Woody Allen
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action.
They rented out my room." -Woody Allen
"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"
-Woody Allen
"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for
emotionally disturbed teachers." -Woody Allen
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too
small." -Woody Allen
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